The Blood Texts: You’d Better Watch Out by Frank Cadaver

Warning, this is extremely creepy! Definitely not one to read at night, especially if you haven't been perfectly good recently. Full of spooky imagery and terrifying descriptions. It also got me surprisingly emotional at the end. Read on for more and an extract from the book... if you dare!

Book Summary

Fourteen year old Evangeline knows she isn’t good. She knows she might even be a bully to her quiet, studious classmate Olivia. But when her Dad returns home with a sinister looking Watching Elf, desperately hoping it will push her to behave, ‘just in time for Christmas’, she’s positive he’s lost the plot. Just how old does he think she is?!

But then footsteps scuttle past flickering fairy lights, when she’s sneaking to places she shouldn’t. A malevolent figure is reflected in her phone screen, when she’s about to share malicious photographs. And, when a bullying teacher is brutally attacked during her detention, Evangeline starts to wonder: is this Watching Elf more than just a doll?

And not to be forgotten, is Olivia. Always perfect Olivia. There’s just something not right about her; she’s got a part to play in this but Evangeline can’t quite figure out what. All she knows is Olivia may not be as innocent or as perfect as she seems…

Extract

PROLOGUE - THE BLOOD TEXTS

2004...

“You’re scared.”

“I’m not scared!”

“You’re the one who wanted to do this!”

“I’m just saying, the coach is gonna go. We’ve got to get back!”

“Whatevs, run away then,” Mason scoffed, his black Korn hoodie up over his ears, his legs straddling the metal track in what he would never admit was his One Tree Hill pose. From the path below, his friend sighed and turned away up the dripping, decayed exit ramp. As the New Animal rollercoaster rumbled far above them, joined by the muffled screams of its passengers, Mason couldn’t help but call after him.

“Go on then, biatch!” he shouted. “Run back to teacher! But I won the challenge! I’m keeping the magazine! It’s MY trophy!”

The magazine was tucked down the back of Mason’s baggy jeans, and it was why they were here in the first place. The Blood Texts – the most gruesome and gory of his older sister’s horror magazine collection. When he’d discovered a feature among The Blood Texts’ creased pages about Smithson’s Theme Park, just one week before their school was visiting it, he and his friend’s next graffiti challenge had been clear: they would tag the OLD ANIMAL ROLLERCOASTER, HOME OF REBECCA’S HEADLESS GHOST!

“Rebecca didn’t keep her arms and legs inside the ride. Rebecca wanted to wave to the camera. But once the ’coaster sped up, she started slipping out too far, and when the loop-the-loop went through the tunnel, her head clipped a boat on the old River Rapids. Her boyfriend had to sit the rest of the ride next to her headless corpse. After her family sued, Smithson’s shut the Old Animal ride and built the New Animal over top of it. But The Blood Texts says they never tore the loop down. It’s still down there, and Rebecca’s ghost an’ all . . . searching for a head to replace hers.”

His friend had grinned then, and they’d gone toe-to-toe with sick jokes about the tragedy. It was what they did – like Jackass, like Dirty Sanchez – like grinning the blood out between your teeth after stacking a rail grind. Like sneaking past warning signs down an unmarked tunnel to graffiti the last bones of a deadly rollercoaster that Smithson’s Park didn’t mention in their ads.

MA$ON

He was getting better, he decided, as again the New Animal rumbled and screamed above. The dollar sign used to just look like he’d screwed up the ‘S’, but now it looked legit, like the $ in the rapper Ma$e. He leant closer to study it, when the battery light began to fade orange.

“Dumb torch,” he growled. The batteries were the big Eveready ones he’d tea-leafed from his sister’s new hi-fi; how were they failing already? Mason – BANG – smacked the torch with the – BANG – palm of his hand, trying to get some juice from the batteries, but the orange bulb still – BANG – wouldn’t BANG—

Splash...

It came from below, quiet, but unmistakable.

“Tyler?”

There was no answer. Mason shone his torch down, lighting up twisted metal, bolts and rails, to the brown, stagnant water of the closed river rapids beneath. Seeing nothing, he turned to point the beam behind him. The grey fake river wound further down the gloomy tunnel, surrounded by knackered SM_LE _OR TH_ C_MERA! signs, tattered rope queues and decayed plastic animal models. Then, with a sudden thought, he looked up to where the last surviving tracks of the Old Animal twisted and climbed, before stopping dead against a concrete slab that Smithson’s had built to hide this infamous deadly loop-the-loop.

Huh...? The screams. The rollercoaster screams, from the New Animal.

Why have they stopped?

Splash...

At the second splash, Mason whirled the torch back down again, a cold stab of fear in his gut.

There was nothing.

And then...

Soft ripples raced across the grey water, before a ride boat bobbed gently down the river below. Mason’s mouth felt suddenly dry. The boat was filthy, worn and circular with seats around the edge and a wheel in the middle. The insides were strewn with something black and matted, and as he climbed down to the bottom rail, Mason saw what it was and fought back the urge to scream.

Hair. Long, human hair. And blood.

Mason pulled out the magazine tucked behind his waistband and stared at the picture on the open page.

“It’s true,” he croaked out loud. “The Blood Texts. It’s true.”

It was the last thought his head got to have.

The Blood Texts. It’s true.

Who is Frank Cadaver?

He was born in the witching hour, beneath a blood-red moon, and under a bad sign. His first words were not fit to print. Now he scratches stories with yellowed fingernails, across the mouldering walls of the abandoned nuclear power station he calls home. If you like what you read, we’ll dare you to find out more…

I started this book while on holiday and had an amazing Pomegranate Caipirinha. This also looks quite Christmassy so I thought its a good fit for the book. Cut half a lime into chunks and muddle in a cocktail shaker with 2 teaspoons of sugar. Add 60ml of cachaca and 15ml of grenadine, stir and then pour into your glass. Add crushed ice (or smaller cubes) to half fill the glass, drop in a handful of pomegranate seeds, stir and top with more ice. Garnish with more pomegranate.

Spooky Scary Book Tag

Thanks so much to Twirling Merry Book Princess for the tag! Check out their answers here and also the original creator of the tag Shelby Masako. I'm tagging anyone who wants to give it a try.

What Goes Bump in the Night? Name a book that legitimately scared you while reading it

Nightbooks by J.A. White. This was extremely creepy and even the film adaptation was good!

Jack-o’-Lanterns & Classic Costumes: A book you always reach for during Halloween time

I don't re-read much so I don't really have one but if I have to pick I would say some of my spooky graphic novels.

Black Cats & Magic Mirrors: A book you love that is laced with superstition and/or magic

Threadneedle by Cari Thomas was absolutely full of superstition AND magic!

Witch’s Brew: Favourite witch character in any book/series

I was thinking and thinking of all the many witches in many books but when I thought of this there was no doubt of my favourite! Mildred Hubble from The Worst Witch by Jill Murphy

Ghouls & Ghosts: A book that still haunts you to this day (good or bad)

I read Marianne Dreams by Catherine Storr as a child and never forgot it. I was so happy to find an old library copy being sold and snapped it up.

Haunted Graveyard: You’re all alone in a haunted graveyard; you get one book to give you comfort. Which is it?

Mort by Terry Pratchett was the first Discworld book I read and its one of few books that I have re-read many times. I think it's probably my favourite of the series.

The Undead: Favourite supernatural creatures to read about

This has to be ghosts, I've really enjoyed lots of spooky ghostly books recently and I love that there are so many types. They can be good, evil, misunderstood and anything in between!

In the Dead of Night: Pick a book with a black cover

I have to say this is quite a common colour for my creepy books but I've chosen The Mystery of Black Hollow Lane by Julia Nobel for this one.

 

Spooksmiths Investigate: The Cinderman by Alex Atkinson

Book Summary

Indigo and Rusty might live in a funeral parlour, but they don't believe in ghosts. That is, until Indigo knocks over an old urn, accidentally releasing the Cinderman: a terrifying ash monster, who will smother their town in ashes and turn everyone into zombies, unless they can stop him by sunset.

Using their newly awakened Spooksmith skills, Indigo and Rusty set out to enlist the help of other ghosts. But can the Blasted Banshee and Chuckles the Phantom Toddler really help them find the Cinderman's true name and put him in his grave for good before Ashmageddon strikes?

Despite living in the creepiest town ever (Greyscar) and creepiest street (Deadman's Drive) in an actual funeral home, Indigo still doesn't believe in the supernatural. Even ghostly whispers can be mostly ignored. It takes the whole town covered in ash to finally convince her that something is not normal!

Here is a monster so terrifying that even the banshee is afraid of it. The most chilling thing is how everyone just carries on, as if they're all in a trance and only Indigo seems to really notice how strange it is. Luckily not all ghosts are so scary and the other ones in this book might try to be spooky but they're actually pretty funny.

Phrank the pheasant is probably the star of the show. I don't know what anyone would do without him. The ending might have been very different if he wasn't around.

I was intrigued by the hints about the relationship between Indigo and her twin, Rusty and really wanted to find out more what exactly happened between them.

Author Bio

Alex Atkinson loves scary books filled with oddball characters. She blames her idyllic North Yorkshire childhood spent playing murder-in-the-dark and listening to her dad's blood-curdling bedtime stories. After studying English and Politics at Newcastle University, she worked as a website content editor. She now lives in a village in Hertfordshire with her husband, kids, dogs and tortoise, but dreams of abandoned buildings, ghosts and zombies. SPOOKSMITHS INVESTIGATE: THE CINDERMAN is her debut novel.

I've mad a Basil (Sm)Ash. Muddle a bunch of basil in your cocktail shaker, then add ice and 60ml gin, 20ml lemon juice and a dash of sugar syrup. Shake well and pour into an ice filled glass. I actually like the bits of basil so I didn't bother to strain into the glass but you're probably supposed to if you're being strict!

In Universes by Emet North

Book Summary

Raffi works in an observational cosmology lab, searching for dark matter and trying to hide how little they understand their own research. Every chance they get, they escape to see Britt, a queer sculptor who fascinates them for reasons they also don’t—or won’t—understand. As Raffi’s carefully constructed life begins to collapse, they become increasingly fixated on the multiverse and the idea that somewhere, there might be a universe where they mean as much to Britt as she does to them…and just like that, Raffi and Britt are thirteen years old, best friends and maybe something more.

In Universes is a mind-bending tour across parallel worlds, each an answer to the question of what life would be like if events had played out just a little differently. The universes grow increasingly strange: women fracture into hordes of animals, alien-infested bears prowl apocalyptic landscapes. But across them all, Raffi—alongside their sometimes-friends, sometimes-lovers Britt, Kay, and Graham—reaches for a life that feels authentically their own.

Raffi is looking for dark matter, but really I think she's looking for solutions to all the problems she's ever had in her life. The idea of infinite parallel worlds takes her into the possibilities of endless universes.

At the beginning if feels a bit like the rambling of someone's mind, but I related to so much of it and found it so interesting that I didn't care. However I did feel like maybe I was missing some deeper meaning. This is probably the most surreal thing I've ever read. Some chapters more so than others, in some universes everything is very normal, while in others, people turn into hordes of bees or falcons. At first I wasn't sure if it was a metaphor, but it is actually really what she says!

I can definitely relate to Raffi's bewilderment at the start of the book. The feeling that you should know what you're doing but just don't, like you've been left behind in a lesson sometime ages ago and have no idea how to catch up! I also liked how the universes are so different in some ways but usually have some thread continuing from the previous ones, people or themes. 

Some of the stories are so harrowing that I kept hoping for something happy. Some do end quite hopefully, but many... not so much. I was also waiting for something that might pull all the stories together at the end but I think it's more like a collections of essays.

To make a Parallel Universe cocktail, mix 30ml (equal measures) of rum, Cointreau and grapefruit juice in a shaker with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

I couldn't find any grapefruit juice so instead bought a red grapefruit and made some fresh juice. For that reason the cocktail is probably not quite the right colour. I also think it could do with a little sugar to sweeten it.

PAX and the Forgotten Pincher by David Barker

Book Summary

Cut off from the rest of the country, New London life is tough, the truth is slippery and friendships are vital.

Pax has made it through the trials of his first year at Scholastic Parliament, but any hopes of a quieter second year are quickly dashed when he makes a shocking discovery in the school’s basement. A new student also joins the school, acting suspiciously and muscling in on Pax’s friendship with Samuel. At least being reigning champions in the Parliamentary Polls allows Pax and his friends the freedom to explore the city at weekends. But drone raids and cyber-attacks disrupt life in New London while a paranoid mayor cracks down hard on terrorism.

The second book in the Pax series is even better and more gripping than the first! Adventurous and emotional with just a little touch of romance.

The characters are more defined now and Pax, Samuel and Megan have built up a great friendship after the events in book one, but the introduction of a fourth student to their little group mixes everything up and causes havoc.

I love the references to what was the distant past for them. An iPhone is an ancient bit of technology to Pax, but still looks modern to Albert. And the way words are contorted, Pincher sounds far more sinister than pensioner. No wonder people are terrified of them!

Today I've made a Bee-Bop's Knees (renamed for the robot Bee-Bop, you'll see why when you read the book). In a shaker with ice, add 60ml gin, 22.5ml lemon juice, 15ml honey syrup (reduce if you don't want it too sweet) and 10ml orange juice.